Depression and Anxiety: Brenna’s Story
“My daughter Brenna was born in March of 1989 after a quick 2.5-hour labor. From the very beginning, she was such a wonderful baby—easygoing, joyful, and full of life. As she grew, Brenna became a fun, spirited little girl who loved people and delighted in making noise wherever she went.
Brenna thrived in preschool and was beyond excited to start kindergarten. She couldn’t wait to ride the bus that picked up her older sister and took her to school. She excelled academically, made many friends, and had a naturally social personality. Everything seemed perfect, at least for a while. But in fifth grade, things began to shift. Brenna seemed quiet, withdrawn, and sad. At first, I assumed it was just because her friend group had changed. During summer breaks, she seemed happier again, and I thought the tough patches were temporary.
Middle school brought new challenges. Those years are often hard for children, especially girls. Brenna was teased for being thin and having crooked teeth. Although she wasn’t physically ready for braces at first, when the time came, her teeth began moving immediately. One of my favorite memories of her from that time is when she had several baby teeth pulled to prepare for her braces. All were removed on the same day, and she couldn’t sleep. So, we pulled out the sofa sleeper, watched the Game Show Network, and just talked. Even as an adult, Brenna and I would laugh and reminisce about that special bonding time.
Eighth grade marked another turning point. Brenna began struggling emotionally again and then fell ill with what her doctor initially thought was a bad stomach virus. This illness coincided with her dance team’s trip to Florida for a competition. Despite being weak and wanting to stay in bed, she competed. Once we returned home, I made another doctor’s appointment. The doctor admitted he should have reacted sooner and recognized that Brenna was dealing with depression. She was prescribed medication and began seeing a counselor, which helped for a while.
High school brought new challenges. Brenna struggled academically and fell behind in her classes, failing a couple. In 11th grade, she reached a breaking point and took a large number of pills, leaving a note for us. She was rushed to the ER and then transferred to the ICU at a children’s hospital. After a week, she was moved to a behavioral care facility for another week. Upon release, she was still behind in school, but her counselor suggested the county voluntary school. This environment was perfect for her, allowing her to work at her own pace and study independently. With that support, she was able to catch up and graduate on time.
Pregnancy Journey
After high school, Brenna took some college classes while working, all while managing Major Depressive Disorder, severe PMS, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. She decided to move to Florida for a fresh start, staying there for about three years before returning home. She quickly found a job and soon met a man named David. In the spring of 2016, Brenna came home and, with her younger sister Shelby and me, shared the news that she was pregnant. We were all surprised—especially Brenna—because her doctor had previously told her chances of pregnancy were very slim due to a diagnosis of PCOS. I was overjoyed; I was going to be a grandmother!
As soon as she discovered her pregnancy, Brenna stopped all her medications to protect the baby. Her OB prescribed a custom prenatal vitamin that was safe for the baby and supportive for her own health. Later, during her third trimester, she resumed medication to manage her depression. Brenna’s baby arrived almost five weeks early, but thankfully was healthy and without complications.
Brenna became a devoted mother to baby David, whom she lovingly called Diddle. She cared for him deeply but struggled with exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy, especially when David was at work. Despite getting support, it was clear she was struggling. In June of 2017, while I was away at a work conference, she asked us to watch Diddle overnight, which we did.
Tragedy
That night, I went to bed and forgot to silence my phone. Early the next morning, the sheriff’s department called. I missed the call, but they reached Shelby, who woke me with words I’ll never forget: ‘Brenna killed herself.’ She died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound on June 9, 2017.
Even in her passing, Brenna continued to help others—she had donated heart valves, bone, skin, tissue, and corneas. That knowledge brought me some comfort in the overwhelming grief, knowing she was able to save lives even after she was gone.
The last two years have been the hardest. I prayed for her healing, hoping she would recover. In a way, she has—she is now at peace in Heaven with Jesus, whom she loved deeply. I miss her every single day, and it saddens me that Diddle won’t remember her. We do everything we can to make sure he knows she loved him profoundly.
Mental Health Awareness
Grief is a difficult road to navigate. I am grateful for my supportive family, friends, church, therapist, and support group. One doctor once told me, ‘Mental health care is broken in this country. Suicide is rarely self-determined—it’s driven by a distortion of perception from a biochemical imbalance. People who die by suicide don’t want to die; they want the pain to end.’
Depression is a real illness, caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. It’s not something people can simply snap out of. Medication takes time to work, and finding the right treatment can be a challenge. Misunderstanding and stigma make it even harder.
My family participates in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness Walks as Team Brenna, hoping to reduce suicides and raise awareness.
I miss my sweet Brenna every day. She was silly, loving, and full of life—she adored Jesus, her family, Chick-Fil-A, and Dr. Pepper Icees. I know she would be delighted to see Diddle loving those Icees too.
I love you so much, Brenna. I am doing my best to live a life that would make you proud. I miss you more than words can express.”
