Ten years ago, Kevin and I went on our very first date. Nothing extravagant—just a casual dinner at Pizza Express—but it felt like the start of something extraordinary. From a young age, I had known I wanted to become a father. Being gay had never changed that desire. I knew I had so much love to give, and fatherhood was always something I envisioned for myself.
Of course, it was our first date, and I didn’t want to scare Kevin off by sounding overly intense or desperate. But finding the right partner—someone who could share this dream—was so essential to me that I decided to bring it up. I wasn’t asking for a child immediately; I was just 20, still at university completing my law exams. I suppose I was just planting a seed, testing the waters. And that’s where our journey began.
Fast forward to 2017. So much had happened since that first dinner in 2009. We got married, welcomed two adorable dogs into our lives, and I had become a fully qualified lawyer, both of us thriving in demanding, high-powered careers. We’d traveled the world, enjoyed dream holidays, and were on the hunt for a bigger home. Life in the Tewis-Allen household was rich and fulfilling—but still, there was a quiet ache inside me.
We loved being doting uncles to our nieces and nephews and were blessed to be godparents to our best friends Lucy and Luke’s little boy, Lowen. He is utterly delightful, and we adored spoiling him. But every precious moment we spent with these children only reinforced what I already knew in my heart: I longed to give this love to a child of our own.
In the autumn of 2017, Kevin and I made the decision to actively pursue fatherhood. We explored both adoption and surrogacy, but ultimately, we wanted to try for a baby ourselves first. Adoption is incredible, and we hold the utmost respect for it—but for us, there was something profound about experiencing pregnancy and those first intimate moments with our child. Having a biological link, even with just one of us, felt deeply meaningful.
Surrogacy in the UK is far from straightforward. It must be altruistic, meaning the surrogate cannot be paid beyond reasonable expenses, typically £8,000–£14,000. This makes finding a willing surrogate challenging. We reviewed our options thoroughly, spoke to agencies, and even considered going abroad—but we wanted to remain intimately involved in every step of the pregnancy, attending scans and appointments and being there for our surrogate whenever she needed us. A journey abroad could not offer that, and so we accepted that finding the right surrogate in the UK might take time—and we were prepared for the wait.
In 2018, we met a potential surrogate through an online forum. We spent five months building a connection, navigating counseling sessions required by the clinic. It was going well, but then, one morning at 5:45 am, everything changed. I woke to a text that made my heart race: “Spencer, I have to tell you something.” The next message read, “I’m pregnant.” Not with our child, but with her partner. We had invested so much time and hope, and suddenly, it felt like the future I had dreamed of had slipped away. I ran to Kevin, shaking and crying, whispering, “We aren’t going to be daddies.” For a moment, I saw no hope on the horizon.
And then hope came in the form of someone extraordinary—Rachael, one of our closest friends and someone who would change our lives forever. Rachael proudly agreed to be our egg donor, but her support went far beyond that. She was the first person I called after the devastating news, the shoulder I could cry on, the voice of comfort and encouragement when I needed it most. We can never thank her enough.
Just three months later, an incredible twist of fate occurred: Rachael asked if her sister, Leanne, would consider being our surrogate. The answer was a resounding “YES!” I was overjoyed, barely able to contain myself, yet trying to remain calm. It was just the beginning of countless discussions and careful planning, but we knew instinctively that this could be the perfect match.
We hosted a BBQ at our home, inviting both families. Being around them highlighted everything that had been missing before: comfort, trust, and warmth. Leanne’s three boys were immediately on board, telling us, “We couldn’t think of a nicer couple for Mom to help.” That seal of approval meant the world.
Over the following months, we navigated all the details—drawing up a surrogacy agreement, passing counseling sessions, and preparing for transfer day. September 2018 arrived, and our carefully created embryo was placed in Leanne. The dreaded two-week wait followed. On day eight, we gathered at Leanne’s for a home test. As we waited around the table, I held my breath. And then—two lines. She’s pregnant! I shouted. Tears, hugs, calls to Rachael, joy so overwhelming it’s impossible to describe.
The pregnancy journey was as smooth as we could have hoped. We were constantly involved, attending appointments, sharing in every scan, growing closer with Leanne and Rachael every day. At week 28, Leanne’s water broke, sending our hearts into a frantic beat. She received steroids and intensive monitoring, and at 32 weeks, we got the call we had been waiting for: our baby was on his way.
Within 40 minutes, we were at the hospital, and just 1.5 hours later, Sawyer arrived—a perfect little fighter at 5 lbs. He spent two weeks in intensive care, wired up to machines and oxygen masks, while we stayed by his side, willing him to grow stronger with every ounce of love we could give. Those moments were terrifying, heart-wrenching, yet filled with hope and determination. Our unwavering presence and support, I believe, helped him thrive until he could finally come home to us.
Our journey to fatherhood has been defined by love in all its forms. It has filled the void we felt, proving that even when the odds are stacked against you, love is what carries you through. Sawyer had a challenging start to life, yet every day, he radiates the love that surrounds him. He is kind, content, and undeniably perfect.
This story is dedicated to Rachael and Leanne. We love you both deeply, and we know Sawyer will too. He is blessed with the most wonderful aunties imaginable, and so are we.
