I am truly sick and tired of people raising mean children.
It amazes me how so many parents today fail to instill basic kindness in their kids—and even worse, how often they defend the cruel behavior that comes from it.
Today at our community pool, my daughter and son were happily playing with their toy sharks. Two young boys, about my daughter’s age, swam over and immediately started grabbing the toys. Being the kind and gentle soul she is, my daughter told them they could play with the sharks. She shared willingly, without hesitation.
The boys took the toys and swam a few feet away to play on their own. A few minutes later, I heard their voices—but what came out of their mouths wasn’t playful conversation. They were mocking her, calling her cruel names to her face.
“He said you’re fat and ugly!” one shouted loudly.
“No, he’s the one who said you were fat and ugly!” the other yelled back.
My heart sank. That was it for me.
I’ve had enough of children being cruel. My kids have been taught from the very beginning to practice kindness, to think of others, to share, and to respect people. Why is it so difficult for some parents to teach the same lessons?
I approached the edge of the pool, took a deep breath, and calmly asked both boys to give back the sharks. I told them there was no reason to speak that way to someone who had been so generous. As they hurried out of the pool to find their mother, I called after them, “And you need to say you’re sorry!” They didn’t.
As I knelt beside my daughter, who was on the verge of tears, trying to comfort her, the mother of one of the boys swam over. She started shouting at me, telling me I had no right to speak to her child like that.
Here’s the thing: I pride myself on being a decent human being. I don’t like confrontation. I don’t like yelling. But I refuse to stand by while a grown adult defends bad behavior—behavior that clearly came from home—behavior that hurt my child.
I won’t lie. I saw red. It’s a natural reaction for any mother whose child has been hurt by cruel words time and time again.
“Your children called my daughter fat and ugly after she was kind enough to share her toys. They need to apologize,” I said firmly.
Her response shocked me: “Well, only one of them is my child. The other is a friend from next door. They didn’t do that, and you will not speak to them that way.”
I looked her in the eye. “I heard him. My aunt heard him. And if they weren’t being intentionally cruel to a stranger, I wouldn’t even have to say anything.”
She didn’t care. She wasn’t willing to admit any fault. Instead, she raised her voice, trying to scold me, as if yelling louder could make her point. It didn’t work.
This back-and-forth continued while everyone at the pool watched silently.
“I would never speak to your child like that,” she said, as though that statement made her morally superior.
“You wouldn’t have to,” I replied, “because my daughter was raised better.”
That remark ended the confrontation—for me, at least. How do you even bounce back from that kind of arrogance? You don’t. You can’t.
No apologies came from her. No apologies from her son. The other child didn’t apologize either. In front of my daughter, the mother hugged her son, told him she loved him, and sent him back to play. The other child went along with him, completely unscathed, without a hint of remorse.
They continued their day as if nothing happened, showing clearly the type of environment they’re being raised in.
And this, parents, is exactly how you fail your children.
This is how you do a disservice not just to your kids, but to everyone they come into contact with. Our children learn from us. They learn from how we react. They learn from how we handle difficult moments. And they learn the lessons we choose—or fail—to teach during these situations.
Today, my daughter learned that I will always defend her. She learned that her mother will protect her at all costs, especially against bullies—and against parents who normalize cruelty.
Those boys, on the other hand, learned that wrong behavior can go entirely unpunished. No accountability, no remorse, no consequence.
Whose child do you think learned the more valuable lesson?
Raise kind children. Teach them empathy. Teach them respect. Teach them accountability. The world shouldn’t have to clean up after your failures—and if it does, know that mothers like me will always step in to defend our kids.
