“‘Me Time’ is a complete crock of bull.
Yep, I said it. The whole idea of ‘me time’ makes my blood boil. If a mom is burned out from daily life, she doesn’t need a pat on the head and a pedicure — she needs real, tangible HELP. Legitimate help. Not the kind where someone takes out the trash once and then expects endless praise, gratitude, and sainthood for doing the bare minimum.
So yes, people of the internet, today we’re talking about ‘me time’ and why it might be one of the most useless concepts ever sold to mothers. It’s not even the phrase itself that irritates me — it’s the idea that giving a mom an hour or two to temporarily escape her problems somehow fixes them. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. She leaves for an hour, comes back, and the same workload — or often MORE — is still waiting. That’s not relief, that’s nonsense. Want a mom to feel less overwhelmed and happier? Do the dishes. Fold the laundry. Make dinner. Wrangle the kids. Every. Single. Day.
Basic human care is not a luxury, darn it.
When did going to the dentist become a “break”? When did a haircut turn into self-care instead of basic maintenance? Why are my runs — necessary for my physical and mental health — framed as indulgent ‘me time’? And why is literally anything that centers around a mom suddenly labeled a break? I’m sorry, but being able to poop alone without kids barging in should not count as downtime. That’s not self-care — it’s basic dignity. And the fact that we debate this is ridiculous.
Nobody thanks me for watching my own kids while my husband runs errands, so why is grocery shopping somehow considered ‘me time’ when I do it? This narrative has to stop. All of it needs to stop.
So why do moms experience burnout?
You mean besides the fact that our “breaks” often consist of peeing in silence? Moms burn out because we do everything. Not in a superhero way — in an exhausted, unpaid, invisible-labor kind of way. We. Do. Everything. What’s for dinner next Tuesday? Did the dog get his heartworm pill? Who booked the appointments? Who did the laundry, cooked dinner, cleaned up, and often worked a full day too? That’s right. The mom.
Sure, there are dads who do a lot — and that’s great — but they don’t carry this bizarre cultural idea of ‘me time’ hovering over their heads. Because they don’t need it in the same way. I have to make sure the house won’t burn down before I shower. I have to arrange childcare to run an errand or haul the tiny humans along with me. Men usually don’t have to think that way. They just… go. And that difference matters.
Burnout isn’t just physical exhaustion — it’s the mental load. The constant remembering. Great Aunt Beatrice’s birthday? Doctor appointments. Meal planning. Pet care. Reading parenting books. Tracking behaviors. Monitoring emotions. Managing everyone’s needs. It’s like Grand Central Station in our brains 24/7 — and almost none of it is about us.
So won’t ‘me time’ help with that?
No. It won’t. All ‘me time’ does is delay the work. Everything that needed to be done during that hour or two just gets shoved later — often with extra tasks piled on top while we’re supposedly being pampered. And let’s be honest: we’re not even relaxing. We’re mentally listing everything waiting for us. Unless someone is actively doing the work we would have been doing, ‘me time’ is useless — and sometimes even harmful. Yet we’re expected to come back refreshed, smiling, and grateful. I call BS. Moms don’t need ‘me time.’ We need HELP.
What moms actually need:
We need recognition — real recognition — for the insane amount of work we do every single day. We need sleep. We need nourishing food we didn’t cook ourselves. We need help with chores and help with the mental load. Heck, we need acknowledgment that the mental load even exists. Moms are people, not employees on call 24/7. We need breaks that don’t create a mountain of backlog. Better yet, we need less load overall.
Most moms are like pots of water at a rolling boil. ‘Me time’ just lifts the lid for a moment — releasing a tiny bit of steam — while the heat keeps getting turned up. Life keeps piling on. We boil faster. Tilting the lid doesn’t solve anything if no one ever turns down the heat. Until that happens, nothing actually gets better, no matter how many pedicures we’re offered.
What we need is continuous, reliable help — without shame. We shouldn’t be judged for needing it, made to feel weak for being overwhelmed, or criticized for admitting we’ve reached our limit.
So what does real help look like?
Affordable childcare. This one is obvious. Humans were never meant to parent alone. We need community, shared responsibility, and actual respite — without guilt. Without it, we see skyrocketing rates of maternal mental illness. Shocking, right?
Less judgment from other moms. Seriously. Stop it. We don’t help anyone by tearing each other down. If we don’t support one another, how are we supposed to stand up to the rest of the world?
A realistic division of labor at home. It’s 2019 and somehow this is still a debate. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, bedtime — these are not “mom jobs.” They are parent jobs. Gender roles at home are outdated and ridiculous. Let them go.
Workplace flexibility without punishment. I’ve personally been penalized for having a child and feeding that child with my own body. Enough already. If companies truly value mothers, they need to prove it. Time at a desk doesn’t equal productivity. Most moms do triple the work in half the time — yet we’re judged for not being physically present enough.
Teach the boys early. I have boys, and yes — they will cook, clean, do laundry, and manage their own mental load. This isn’t optional. Teaching boys responsibility is how we help the next generation of moms — and it’s on all of us.
Freedom to parent in a way that works for each family. I’m done with unsolicited parenting advice and criticism. If you’re not living it 24/7, you don’t get a vote. Moms are constantly judged no matter what we do. Enough.
Is that everything?
Not even close. But this isn’t a dissertation. This is a start. At its core, it’s simple: treat moms with respect and compassion. Thank us for the work we do. Take some of that work on yourself. Stop expecting perfection. Moms are some of the most badass people alive — and it’s time we’re acknowledged and actually supported.
So don’t tell me to take some ‘me time’ to feel better. A pedicure and a pat on the head is like paying a man a penny for a full day’s work. It’s insulting. One hour off won’t fix an epidemic of overworked, underappreciated, and over-criticized moms. Only real, consistent HELP will.
Rant over.
Rebekah OUT.”
